Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Statutory Rape Grapes

This is a rhyme that occured to me while thinking about the tabloids and what they publish.

It is about a rich famous "old guy" who has an extramarital affair with a young gold-digger "bimbo". She happens to be just under 18 too. He makes her pregnant, tries to leave her for his wife, only to be exposed by her.

Both of them have their reputations ruined and he has to pay paternity and go to jail for statutory rape.

The first rhyme is by him, the second is her response. Both are, as they say, tabloid trash. The picture is of Prince Charles and Dupree (Spitzer girl). Enjoy!

Statutory Rape: Song of The Jailbird

Dearest nearest thou smearest,
My name and tar me in shame,

What did I ever do,
To you, for you,
To drag me through the muck,
We made together, no such luck,

You didn't know I was married,
And I knew not what you carried,
In your belly, or your age,
Now I must return to my cage,

Best regards and bitter grins,
We shall see who it is that wins,

He who loses most is toast,

Temporarily my freedom and some cash,
Your reputation and future, dust and ash,

Statutory Rape: Jailbait's Debate

Mine lewser, dearest abuser,
You really scratch an itch,
When you call me a bitch,

I'm offended and all, but,
When you go and call me a slut,
I'm grinning and I giggling,
Cute, Diamond-ring wiggling,

Thanks for the Jewelry,
Fumbling tomfoolery,

Wrinkles and money,
For a taste of honey,

But you had to be married,
And your burden I carried,

And then you got noble,
A heart made of opal!

But I wasn't eighteen,
And what's even more keen,

I flushed the pills,
Baby, no more bills,
For me, now that I bear,
True love's gift of fear,

I think I shall call him,
Casanova, what you weren't,
Darling how's it feel,
When a douche-bag is burnt?

Sunday, March 30, 2008

My First Mini Novella!

Well, I have completed my first long-short story, about 200 words shy of the "official" definition of a novella.

It is called "Shelley", though at first I had wanted to call it "Of Canaries and Cages". Do let me know if you prefer the latter! The comments feature exists for a reason!

Anyway, I divided it into three parts. The fromatting and paragraphing may not be as good as it could be, but I am no editor, that is for sure. The three parts have been posted at Storiesville.com. I have included the links and the amateur cover graphics I cobbled together for the pieces.

The story is a bit long so it may be best to print and read at a leisurely pace. There are some sci-fi allusions and technical terms, though these are not necessary to understand and enjoy the overall story. I will try my best to append a glossary to this post later!

I hope you read it and enjoy it!

Part 1: http://www.storiesville.com/content/view/3251/65/

Excellent Comics and Artists

Well, I could not in good conscience go without recomending some excellent "comic" book artists and their work to you.

When most of you think of comics you think of either juvenile super-hero nonsense or something like Archie. There are comics and graphic novels, however, that are intelligent, witty and excellent.

My first reomendation for the day is Zach Weiner. He's a brilliant artist who originates the sharp and witty single-panel comic "Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal". He is also working as the author, with other artists, on the excellent web-comics "Captain Excelsior" and "Grumps".

The last two are roughly narrative, the former being about a "jerk" superhero and his family (think Increadibles gone horribly wrong) and the latter is about about some senior citizens in a nursing home who have not yet stopped living it up, but have ceased to have anything resembling balance, not that anyone else has any in their world!

Here's a link to get you started on Zach Weiner:

SMBC: http://www.smbc-comics.com/

Grumps: http://www.grumps.ca/

The second comic that I want to recomend is a really nice Australian one created by Trudy Cooper and a few of her cohorts. It's excellent because of the aesthetically pleasiing, mildly realistic and sexy art style as well as the slightly strange humour.

Here where to get started:



Do look these up! They deserve your attention!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Listen to Lissie!

Well, I've discovered a new voice out there that I love! I wonder how many of you have heard of Lissie? She's a relatively new independent musician. She is brilliant.

She may live in California, but she is not the typical new female voice you find American music producing. I've been sick to the point of nausea at seeing new female "talents" who offered nothing more than the typical mixture of sacharine-pop and R&B-lite ulation.

Lissie is different. She's sounds deep, different and intelligent. She's intense yet mellow, and not overly sweet. She's a true artist, and though she is as unique as someone like Amy Winehouse, thugh she seems like a more reasonable and likeable person.

How can I describe her voice? Slightly velvety, slighty country-ish, a bit pop-like (but she does not scream or yell in cliched and unnecessary endings to stanzas or songs), and spiritual, yet simple and independent. Her spirituality is due to a vague and hard to quantify quality, not any heavy handed new-age pretensions. She has melody, but in a slightly strange sense of the word. And she manipulates her voice and accent in a way that is subtle and new to me. She feels independent and strong, with a subtly implied strength of character.

As I said, she's a true artist. You only need to listen to her songs "The Longest Road" (both the original and the Deadmau5 remix) as well as "All my Life" which is particularly beautiful and brilliant. Her simpler songs are sweet but not overly and tritely so. She also happens to write most of her own music and lyrics.
Besides this, in her written and video blogs she has a nice habit of addressing her audience as "friends" rather than "peeps" or "hey everyone!" or something more typical all the time. I found that somehow endearing.

Here are some essential links to get you started:



Check her out! She's brilliant!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Palindromic Nihilism (Pain Is The Weakness)

Palindromic Nihilism

Pain is the weakness,
Weakness is the bane,

It's all just pictures,
Scriptures are all just bits,
Of delusion and futility,
Intellectual mediocrity,

When beauty is an illusion,
And irrelevant is emotion,
When you can hit your father,
But kick your mum you'd rather,

Then you know pleasure and pain,
Are relative and arcane,

Gain is the only objective,
Subjective morals only mundane,

They're chemicals, they're chemicals!
Wasted thoughts, polemicals,
They're Chemicals, they're chemicals!
Heed them not, mechanicals!

Make a stone of your heart,
Let your power be dark,
Will to power,
Power to kill,
Living death,
Futile breath,

Crash, smash, and burn,
Do all, nothing spurn,
The only absolute is I,
Must take all before I die,

Deserve I: all that I want,
Want I all, without reserve,

Fight hard, hit and bleed,
Hurt feels alive, true, agreed,

We're chemicals, We're chemicals!
Perverted mirth, Maniacal!

Pain is the weakness,
Weakness is the bane,
Pain is the weakness...
Pain is the weakness...

My parents are to blame.

NOTE: Some lyrics inspired by "Biomechanoid" stop motion short film.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Panties: A Romance Ruined

This is a small poem I made up spontaneously today. It may or may not be any good but I like it!

Secret and pretty panties,

Belonging to a secretive and pretty woman,

Are a pleasure to behold,

Precious like gold,

One can never be too old,

To smartly snap them or obssess,

On every floral filigree no less,

And to feel through them,

And to undo them,

To play, and now we get edgy,

I give my Love a super-atomic wedgie!

Red Demon (Revised Edition)

Well, I realized that my short story Red Demon was full of typos and the paragraphing really needed to be improved. The density of adjectives and the general flow also needed to be improved.

I uploaded an improved verision to Storiesville.com.

I hope that you enjoy this latest edit:

As before, my advice is to print and read at a relaxed pace in two sessions. The reason is that the story is quiet descriptive and slow and sensory

Monday, February 25, 2008

Short Stories | Storiesville.com

Hello everyone (all four of you)! I just wanted to inform you that as of now there's an excellent new site to read and contribute original fiction, non-fiction and poetry. If you are an amateur (or not so amateur) writer and you like to read and comment on what others are writing then please do visit www.storiesville.com

They are excellent and hopefully you can get some feedback on your own literary efforts!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

New and Improved!

Alright, I have made a few small changes to Time. I am also personally partial to that particular poem and believe it needs a second outing! So here it is:



EDIT: Also made some changes to "I Loved a Woman", and added a nice graphic I photoshopped to it. (apologies to J.W. Waterhouse)
Here it is:

Enjoy++ !