Statutory Rape Grapes

This is a rhyme that occured to me while thinking about the tabloids and what they publish.

It is about a rich famous "old guy" who has an extramarital affair with a young gold-digger "bimbo". She happens to be just under 18 too. He makes her pregnant, tries to leave her for his wife, only to be exposed by her.

Both of them have their reputations ruined and he has to pay paternity and go to jail for statutory rape.

The first rhyme is by him, the second is her response. Both are, as they say, tabloid trash. The picture is of Prince Charles and Dupree (Spitzer girl). Enjoy!

Statutory Rape: Song of The Jailbird

Dearest nearest thou smearest,
My name and tar me in shame,

What did I ever do,
To you, for you,
To drag me through the muck,
We made together, no such luck,

You didn't know I was married,
And I knew not what you carried,
In your belly, or your age,
Now I must return to my cage,

Best regards and bitter grins,
We shall see who it is that wins,

He who loses most is toast,

Temporarily my freedom and some cash,
Your reputation and future, dust and ash,


Statutory Rape: Jailbait's Debate

Mine lewser, dearest abuser,
You really scratch an itch,
When you call me a bitch,

I'm offended and all, but,
When you go and call me a slut,
I'm grinning and I giggling,
Cute, Diamond-ring wiggling,

Thanks for the Jewelry,
Fumbling tomfoolery,

Wrinkles and money,
For a taste of honey,

But you had to be married,
And your burden I carried,

And then you got noble,
A heart made of opal!

But I wasn't eighteen,
And what's even more keen,

I flushed the pills,
Baby, no more bills,
For me, now that I bear,
True love's gift of fear,

I think I shall call him,
Casanova, what you weren't,
Darling how's it feel,
When a douche-bag is burnt?