Statutory Rape Grapes

This is a rhyme that occured to me while thinking about the tabloids and what they publish.

It is about a rich famous "old guy" who has an extramarital affair with a young gold-digger "bimbo". She happens to be just under 18 too. He makes her pregnant, tries to leave her for his wife, only to be exposed by her.

Both of them have their reputations ruined and he has to pay paternity and go to jail for statutory rape.

The first rhyme is by him, the second is her response. Both are, as they say, tabloid trash. The picture is of Prince Charles and Dupree (Spitzer girl). Enjoy!

Statutory Rape: Song of The Jailbird

Dearest nearest thou smearest,
My name and tar me in shame,

What did I ever do,
To you, for you,
To drag me through the muck,
We made together, no such luck,

You didn't know I was married,
And I knew not what you carried,
In your belly, or your age,
Now I must return to my cage,

Best regards and bitter grins,
We shall see who it is that wins,

He who loses most is toast,

Temporarily my freedom and some cash,
Your reputation and future, dust and ash,


Statutory Rape: Jailbait's Debate

Mine lewser, dearest abuser,
You really scratch an itch,
When you call me a bitch,

I'm offended and all, but,
When you go and call me a slut,
I'm grinning and I giggling,
Cute, Diamond-ring wiggling,

Thanks for the Jewelry,
Fumbling tomfoolery,

Wrinkles and money,
For a taste of honey,

But you had to be married,
And your burden I carried,

And then you got noble,
A heart made of opal!

But I wasn't eighteen,
And what's even more keen,

I flushed the pills,
Baby, no more bills,
For me, now that I bear,
True love's gift of fear,

I think I shall call him,
Casanova, what you weren't,
Darling how's it feel,
When a douche-bag is burnt?

Excellent Comics and Artists

Well, I could not in good conscience go without recomending some excellent "comic" book artists and their work to you.

When most of you think of comics you think of either juvenile super-hero nonsense or something like Archie. There are comics and graphic novels, however, that are intelligent, witty and excellent.

My first reomendation for the day is Zach Weiner. He's a brilliant artist who originates the sharp and witty single-panel comic "Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal". He is also working as the author, with other artists, on the excellent web-comics "Captain Excelsior" and "Grumps".

The last two are roughly narrative, the former being about a "jerk" superhero and his family (think Increadibles gone horribly wrong) and the latter is about about some senior citizens in a nursing home who have not yet stopped living it up, but have ceased to have anything resembling balance, not that anyone else has any in their world!

Here's a link to get you started on Zach Weiner:

SMBC: http://www.smbc-comics.com/

Grumps: http://www.grumps.ca/

The second comic that I want to recomend is a really nice Australian one created by Trudy Cooper and a few of her cohorts. It's excellent because of the aesthetically pleasiing, mildly realistic and sexy art style as well as the slightly strange humour.

Here where to get started:

http://www.platinumgrit.com/index.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platinum_Grit#Creators

Do look these up! They deserve your attention!

Panties: A Romance Ruined

This is a small poem I made up spontaneously today. It may or may not be any good but I like it!

Secret and pretty panties,

Belonging to a secretive and pretty woman,

Are a pleasure to behold,

Precious like gold,

One can never be too old,

To smartly snap them or obssess,

On every floral filigree no less,

And to feel through them,

And to undo them,

To play, and now we get edgy,

I give my Love a super-atomic wedgie!